I was recently invited to the New Years Party at the ASOS. The ASOS is a Malagasy NGO that works on both Health and Environment projects. They frequently work as the facilitator between foreign NGOs and the Malagasy people. My sister-in-law, Tahiry, works for the ASOS in Brickaville and that is why I was invited to the party. This party was held at 5pm on a Tuesday. All of the ASOS's employees were invited as well as the town dignitaries including the mayor, the health inspector, the chief doctor, and the police force just to name a few.

Malagasy Parties are typically held in large non descript brightly lit rooms, there are tables ringing the rooms with chairs on just one side of the table all facing the middle. On the tables you will find an assortment of "cocktails." In Madagascar this would consist of a couple of bottles of beer and soda as well as one small bottle of rum, there are also snacks that depending on the party include a varity of fried finger foods. At this particular party we were served fried meatballs, samosas (small, fried dough triangles filled with ground beef and onions) and cracky (the closest thing to cracky that you might have ever had are those fake onion ring things that are sold like chips and were really popular in the 90s). Fried peanuts, bland crackers, and kaka pigone (literally translates as "pigeon shit" but is actually tasty little strips of fired dough, that in no way at all resemble pigeon shit. I would know I have been shat on by a pigeon) are also commonly served.

Those that arrive on time for a Malagasy party will inevitably regret the decision to be punctual, as they will certainly be made to wait at least an hour. This hour will be taken up by lots of long awkward silences, staring at the others that were foolish enough to show up on time and twiddling your thumbs. After this long awkward period comes the long and boring speeches. Depending what the party is for the content of the speeches will vary slightly but you can bet a large sum of money that everyone who is required to give a speech will thank each and every dignitary, by name, for their attendance before getting to the meat of the speech. Though many times the "meat" of the speech is just an exscuse to be able to say thanks to a bunch of people and show everyone that you are important enough to be allowed to give a speech. This part of the party can last anywhere from 45 min to 3 hrs. Mind you, the entire time the speeches are being given you are not allowed to touch the cocktails, by the time it the speeches are over and you are allowed to drink the beer it is inevitably warm (yuck!).

At this particular party not too long after the speeches had ended and we had started drinking our warm beer and eating our now cold fried goodies one of the policemen got a call on his cell phone. He, along with his two colleges, jumped up and ran out of the room. Apparently the three policemen that were on duty that evening had come to the party and as we were enjoying our cocktails there had been a jailbreak. They had left the jail unguarded and the prisoners decided to take this superb opportunity to get the heck out of there. I am not sure if they ever caught the prisoners, but the policemen were quickly back at the party getting smashingly drunk and banging the secretaries in the office while everyone else was busy dancing.

Ah the dancing. As we start the cocktails the music starts as well. Typically at a deafening volume making anymore awkward conversation impossible, leaving the guest with nothing to do but drink and stare at each other. Once the drinking has been going on for a while the dancing starts. Unfortunately it typically starts with just a couple of people in the middle of the room dancing while everyone else watches. Being brought up in a culture where poorly lit high school gyms are the preferred place to dance i mostly sit the dancing out. It isn't that I don't want to dance it is just that I haven't quite gotten the Minnesota out of me yet and I can't dance in a brightly lit room while a hundred plus people stare at me. Near the end of the evening when pretty much everyone is drunk and the mayor is dancing by jumping around the room like someone on a pogo-stick I finally give in and indulge the part of me that wants to get out there and dance. luckily by this point pretty much everyone is dancing so there are very few people left to stare at me.

So now you all know what you have to look forward to at my wedding, without the jailbreak that is.